Sunday, June 26, 2011

How to Enjoy Your Wedding as a Pregnant Bride

Gone are the days when the pregnant bride had a rushed, quiet wedding to cover the "shame". Realism and relaxed social mores have set in and many brides are pregnant; indeed, in 2001, one London dress shop estimated that almost 20 percent of its customers were expecting. Both pregnancy and marriage are occasions for celebration, so the pregnant bride has every right to stand tall and feel proud, as well as looking very radiant on her special day.



Understand the feelings of others around you. For some people the cultural or faith beliefs and expectations that they hold may make it hard for them to accept your willingness to be a pregnant bride. Have compassion for them because they're taking things very literally without thinking through the consequences, including that you've chosen to get married and live with your spouse and the child. Take some time to talk to them about their feelings,listen well, and then explain your own feelings to them. While you probably won't see eye-to-eye completely, avoiding hurling your anger and frustration at them will earn you their respect, even if begrudgingly.

Explain to people who preach woe and shame that today's attitudes are far more relaxed and compassionate.
Sharon Naylor, author of The Bride's Diplomacy Guide, suggests that if you're confronted with thinly veiled criticism about getting married "in that condition", respond by saying something along the lines of "We've been so blessed, and we're happy to share our wedding with our entire family.


Don't act ashamed. This unhealthy externally-induced emotion is one of the things that has the potential to ruin everything for you, your spouse-to-be, and for your child when he or she grows old enough to understand how the wedding was and how you felt about it. Be proud of the decisions you make in life. Pregnancy and marriage are two states to be very excited about, so stay proud!

Be aware that there may be a special challenge with those who were coerced into marrying young in the past because of pregnancy. They may resent the fact that you're glowing and proud to show off your bump while they had to slink around and quickly get the marriage over and done with.

Deal with the "white dress" issue. White dresses are a Victorian invention following the fact that Queen Victoria was married in white (her example was always followed at the time); later, the idea of white gained a strange moral overtone that wasn't even the reason when white first became fashionable. Today, white is simply viewed as a popular and traditional wedding color and not as a moral judgment. If you want to wear white, then wear it. Equally, if you'd rather wear any other color, go for that too. Don't be hampered by a social convention that is confused and out-dated!



Talk to your officiant if you're planning on a church wedding. Some churches won't allow a wedding with a pregnant bride but many churches will. Ask around and again, do not be ashamed.

Some churches require pre-marital counseling. Ask about the requirements.
Some chaplains/priests/other faith officiant may expect you to "tone down" the wedding to make it a more private affair. If that doesn't suit you, then keep asking around or consider a compromise such as a private wedding and a large reception.


Expect a few challenges with the dress but don't settle for anything that looks like frump with a bump. Find a good dressmaker and tell her the date of the wedding and how far pregnant you'll be on that date. Your dress will need to be alterable as you cannot predict your growth rate or dynamics; ask your dressmaker to bear this in mind when making up the dress. Look for fuller gowns rather than tight fits, small waists, and anything figure-hugging. The right style of dresses include empire line, princess line or A-line dresses.

Place the accent on your shoulders and bust to draw the eye away from your belly zone.
If buying a ready-made maternity bridal gown, it's a good idea to try and leave it until much closer to the wedding date, to be sure of a comfortable fit.
Avoid corsets, tightly laced bodices, or any other constricting gear. Flow is the go for a woman with a growing bubs and aching joints.


Forget the fancy high heels. Go with comfortable flats that will allow you stand for a good period of time without feeling even more achy and tired than your pregnancy is already managing to do to you.

Have the usual accessories. The veil, jewelery, purse, and bouquet remain unaffected by your belly size, so enjoy all of them as much as wished.

Consider having a mock wedding ring made up. Pregnancy tends to make most women swell and your fingers won't be immune to this! One neat answer is to have both your real wedding ring and a mock one, using the mock one for the wedding ceremony and then wearing your real wedding ring once your fingers are back to their usual size. If you want the real ring to be part of the ceremony, you could wear it around your neck or have it placed upon the ring cushion next to the mock ring and carefully stored after the vows are exchanged.

You could also consider purchasing the ring fitted to your swollen fingers and have it altered later.



Plan the menu. When pregnant you cannot consume certain things, so be sure that there are suitable alternatives available for you on the menu. This doesn't mean you can't let your guests, the groom and wedding party enjoy these things, it just means you need to find alternatives for you as well. Things that you won't be able to share in include:

Alcohol, seafood and any raw fish, soft cheeses, and anything your doctor advises against.



Plan a honeymoon that's realistic and very relaxing. You deserve double the pampering with wedding planning and baby growing contributing to your overall exhaustion. Find a place that isn't hard to get to and that doesn't require a lot of planning but that promises much peace, quiet, and pampering.

If flying, check that both destination and return flights are able to take you; most airlines won't let pregnant women fly after a certain period into the pregnancy unless it's an emergency.
Be sure that your insurance covers any pregnancy complications or even giving birth. Also know where hospitals are in case of an emergency.
Another way around this is to simply postpone the honeymoon until after the baby's born. You'll deserve the rest and the babysitting!


Enjoy your wedding. Fatigue may be the biggest factor for you during the wedding, especially if it's long. You may need to sit more than you expected, so be sure there are chairs placed in strategic places for you to rest when needed. Talk to the chaplain/priest/celebrant about the length of vows too, in case you're worried about their length or about having a tall stool or something to lean off if need be. Try to do everything possible to ease the fatigue, including good shoes, plenty of water, and easy bathroom access. For the most part, concentrate on enjoying to occasion and shining because it's your day and you deserve to have the very best day possible.





TIPS

Wedding dress designers do cater for pregnant women; it's just not something that is advertised a lot because it's not a selling point for wedding outfitters. However, don't be shy, ashamed, or afraid; just tell the fitter or dressmaker you're pregnant and work from there.
Disguising the fact that you're pregnant with a dress is possible early on. Go one dress size up, make the top part of your dress the elaborate feature, and carry a large bouquet.
Consider the length of everything - the ceremony, the reception, the speeches, etc., and think seriously of paring down where you can. And depending on your stamina, it may not be a good idea to have a reception that goes late into the evening. If your heart is set on this, simply accept that you may need to bow out earlier than the wedding party and guests, but let them enjoy the rest of the night


WARNING

Avoid marrying fast just because of pregnancy. This must be done for the right reasons, not because you feel it is the right thing to do by social standards. Are the two of you compatible for life? Will the stress of planning a wedding be better left off until after the baby is born? Make your choice wisely.




Source: Wikihow.com
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How to Have a Small Private Wedding

If a small private wedding is what you want, everyone close to you has to understand your needs and desires. Without hurting their feelings, there are a few ways to have everyone meet in the middle (depending on what type of family you have).

Have a small Private affair to remember! Wedding time is normally considered a time of grand celebration, expenses and people. It is undeniably a couple’s personal decision either to have a grand celebration or a simple private affair with family and close friends. Your bonding, rituals and feelings are going to be the same with or without countless people. It is certainly a very wise decision to have a small scale wedding and not many would dare to think on this line. Here are few ideas to rally round while you arrange a small private wedding.



Stand politely firm in your decision to have a small wedding and make it clear that you will not change your plans no matter how much pressure others put on you.

Allow family members and friends to suggest a guest list and assure them that those who do not receive an invitation to the wedding will be invited to an informal reception at a later date.

Set an amount you are willing to spend on your wedding and reception. Create a budget that will keep you within your means. Download free wedding planning guides to see what expenses you must incur and what you can omit or reduce. Be realistic; even a low cost wedding demands a reasonable amount of funds.

Choose a wedding location appropriate for smaller gatherings. Large halls do not usually take bookings for smaller numbers of people; that leaves you with the opportunity to try something new or unusual. In addition to local inns, private gardens, and public parks, consider any nearby wedding chapels, wineries with landscaped grounds, or apartment complex clubhouses. There are many unusual spots not traditionally chosen for weddings and receptions.

Design your menu to follow your guests' preferences. Large crowds require a menu designed to please most tastes, but when your guests are a small number of well-known family and friends, you can capitalize on this opportunity to serve a menu of their collective favorites.

Let all your family and friends say a few words and express their feelings at the event. Relax and dispense with formality. Let this be a moment that becomes a lifelong memory of love and acceptance.

Set up a video display of past highlights with family and friends. Show past family events and achievements that bind you together.

Involve each family member in the dance and enjoy and live through each second.





TIPS

Have a friend or family member conduct the wedding ceremony. This can save several hundred dollars which your minister may charge. See information on Becoming Ordained to set up your choice of an officiant.
If budget is not a problem, you can organize a theme marriage. Fewer people can fit in well in an Arabian theme or beach side celebration with dance and jubilations to follow.
You can plan a vacation wedding as well. With just family and few close friends it will not be grand expense. You can even stay there later for enjoying the marital bliss and take leave from friends.
Stress more on smaller details as you do not have to be worried about attending lot of people and arrangements.
Excuse yourself by explaining to people that the whole thing was planned in haste.
For the ones that aren't invited, sit down and talk to them about why you want a small, private wedding. There more than likely will be people with hurt feelings, and people who don't understand your intentions, and a good explanation may help for those who are truly hurting.
Small private weddings might not be the most preferred ones but they surely are wisest choices. Looking back you will have people envying you for this dynamic move and wish they had done the same.
Avoid all the hassle of telling everyone. Keep it a secret from everyone who isn't invited-that way you won't hurt their feelings. Then, when you come back from your honeymoon, break the news to friends and family and throw a big reception bash.


WARNINGS

You will get mixed reactions to your decision.
Be prepared to answer friends and guests who were left out of invitations.
Gear your self for some very emotional moments.
Many people only get married once, so keep that in mind when you are writing your guests' names down. For example, if you don't invite certain people (grandparents, etc.) to your wedding, you may feel guilty down the line somewhere (whether it's your wedding day, or two years down the road)


Source: Wikihow.com
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Sunday, June 19, 2011

How to Make Wedding Invitations



If you want to save money from your wedding budget a good way to cut costs is to make your own wedding invitations. You do not have to sacrifice style to save money. Make your own handmade invitations using your computer and some common scrapbooking and arts and crafts supplies.




STEP 1

Go shopping for your materials. A good place to shop would be an arts and crafts supply store such as Michael’s crafts. You can get other supplies like card stock, ink, or glue at an office supply store. Buy 8 ½ by 11 inch card stock in a 65 lb. Weight or heavier, some decorative paper preferably eight ½ by 11 inch or larger. Buy a very small paper punch and some decorative brads in a color to match the wedding and invitation theme. Buy some thin ribbon to match the invitations.

STEP 2

Use your Word processor program on your computer to create an invitation template (most common is Microsoft Word). Open your word processing program on your computer to a new document. Choose File>page setup. A new window will open. In the box where it says "page orientation" choose landscape. Set all page margins to a half inch. Hit "ok".



STEP 3

Choose Format> Columns. A new window will open. Set the number of columns at two. Enter one inch as the space between the columns.



STEP 4

Create the invitation's text. Type the invitation's text into the first column on the page. Highlight the entire text using your mouse cursor. Select to have the text centered on the alignment button on the program's toolbar. Choose a scrolling decorative font and change the size of the font to suite your needs. Select Edit>Copy while the text is still highlighted. Move your mouse cursor to the next column and select Edit> Paste. Using the "enter" button on your keyboard center the text vertically on the page for both columns.

- Be sure to follow proper wording and spelling when composing your invitation. Do not, for example, use zip codes for the church and reception hall. No one is going to mail something to you there. Spell out the words Street and Avenue and avoid other abbreviations. Find other invitations to use as a guide. Ask friends and family to proofread for spelling and accuracy.

- Dr. Mary Jones and Mr. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter Mary Jane to Colonel Dusty Rhodes at two o'clock on the first of November at Christchurch Hall



STEP 5

Print the invitation text onto plain white printer paper.

STEP 6

Go to a local copy shop. Call ahead and make sure they have paper cutting services. Bring both the cardstock and decorative paper to the copy shop. Request to have the invitation text copied onto the decorative paper. Ask that they cut the cardstock in half to make cards sized at 5 ½ by 8 ½ inch. Have the decorative paper cut in half and then trimmed around all edges by a quarter inch.

STEP 7
Assemble the wedding invitations.Take a piece of decorative paper and place it centered over a sheet of cut cardstock. Punch a small hole through the top center of both sheets of paper. Cut the ribbon into lengths of about 10 to 15 inches. Press a small brad through the middle of the ribbon then insert the brad into the hole in the invitation to hold the two sheets of paper together. Flip the invitation over and open the prongs of the brad to secure it in place. Turn the invitation over again and tie the ribbon into a neat bow. Snip off the edges of the ribbon diagonally so they are equal in length.



TIPS

- When buying paper for your wedding invitations choose papers that match or compliment each other. Make sure and choose a decorative paper with a pattern that is not so bold that it overpowers the text you will print onto it. Many scrapbooking papers come in wedding themed patterns and soft floral patterns. Vellum is also a good choice but you may have to print onto it yourself as some copy shops may refuse to send it through their machines.
- Scrapbooking background papers are great for making handmade cards and invitations. You can find them at any arts and crafts supply store in the scrapbooking aisle.
- Using a copy shop can be a quick and easy alternative to printing them yourself at home. It is quick, and cheaper than you would expect. Plus you will save your printer's ink cartridges.
- Decorative papers do not always come in the standard sizes (8 1/2 by 11 inch). Especially if you choose a scrapbooking paper which a lot of the time comes in 12 by 12 inch or smaller. If the paper is too big you can have it cut to size for you before the text is copied onto it. Choose a copy shop with paper cutting services.


Source: www.wikihow.com

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Marriage License Application Guide in Davao City

TWO TO THREE MONTHS
before your wedding you should process your “Marriage License” for it has an expiration date of about 4 months.

Go to the Office of the City Registrar (Office of the City Registrar, Ground Floor, Sangguniang Panglungsod Building, San Pedro St., Davao City Tel.Nos.: +63(082) 227-5794 / 227-8060)

You should bring:

NSO Birth Certificate (1 Original and 2 Photocopies each bride and groom to be)
For ages 25 years old and below:
Parents' consent for 18 – 25 years old
Certificate of Attendance in a pre-marital counseling and family planning seminar from the Division of Maternal and Child Health at the City Hall.
Not applicable for 26 years old and above
CEDULA ( 1 original and 2 photocopies)
Wait for 1-2weeks (Depending on their due date)
Youre CENOMAR will be given to you and its now time to apply for your marriage license. Just ask the personal for its form, fill it up and pay the necessary dues. They may give the marriage license to you on the same day or they might ask you to comeback after few days.
Comeback to City Registrar’s Office and get your marriage license that is valid for 4months.
After the wedding, you must bring back your signed marriage license to the city registrar’s office to have it registered. It also have an expiration of about 2weeks.



By: Bong P

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How Children Change a Marriage

Charles: “Mary and I were thrilled with the arrival of our baby daughter. But I lost a lot of sleep in the first few months after she was born. We had all sorts of plans for how to deal with her, but all of them quickly vanished.”
Mary: “With the birth of our baby, my life was no longer my own. Suddenly, everything revolved around the next bottle, the next diaper change, or the next attempt to quiet the baby. The adjustment was immense. It took months before my relationship with Charles returned to normal.”

MANY would agree that having children is one of the greatest joys in life. The Bible describes children as “a reward” from God.(Psalm 127:3) New parents like Charles and Mary also know that children can change a marriage in unexpected ways. For example, a new mother may focus on her baby and be surprised at how her body and heart respond to each whimper of the newborn. As for the new father, he may marvel at the bond formed between his wife and the baby, but he may also worry about suddenly being left out. In fact, the birth of a first child may be a catalyst for a crisis in a marriage. An individual’s emotional insecurities and a couple’s unresolved issues may surface, exposed and magnified by the strains of parenthood. How can new parents adjust to the hectic first few months when the newborn requires all their attention? What can a couple do to maintain their intimacy? Howcan they handle any disagreements about parenting? Let us examine each of those challenges and consider how Bible principles can help a couple to meet them.

CHALLENGE 1: Life suddenly revolves around the child.
A new baby consumes its mother’s time and thoughts. She may feel a deep sense of emotional fulfillment in caring for her baby. Meanwhile, her husband might feel neglected. Manuel, who lives in Brazil, says: “My wife’s shift of focus from me to our baby was the most difficult change for me to accept. Before, it was just the two of us, and then all of a sudden, it was just my wife and the baby.” How can you cope with the upheaval? ˇ A key to success: Be patient. “Love is long-suffering and kind,” says the Bible. Love “does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5) When a new baby arrives, what can both husband and wife do to apply that counsel? A wise husband proves his love for his wife by educating himself about the physical and mental impact childbirth has on a woman. If he does so, he will realize why his wife may be prone to sudden mood changes._ Adam, who lives in France and is the father of an 11-month-old girl, admits: “My wife’s mood changes are sometimes difficult to deal with. But I try to remember that her frustration is not really directed at me personally. Rather, it is a response to the unfamiliar stresses of our new situation.” Does your wife sometimes misunderstand your attempts to help out? If so, do not quickly become offended. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Instead, patiently look for her best interests, not your own, and you will avoid getting upset.—Proverbs 14:29. On the other hand, a discerning wife will try to encourage her husband in his new role. She will involve him in child care, patiently showing him how to change diapers or prepare feeding bottles—even though he may seem clumsy at first. Ellen, a 26-year-old mother, recognized that she needed to make some adjustments in theway she treated her husband. “I had to become less possessive of the baby,” she says. “And I had to remind myself not to be too picky when my husband tried to apply
my suggestions about caring for the infant.”

_ Many mothers suffer mild bouts of depression in the weeks following childbirth. Some experience a more serious condition known as postpartum depression. For information about how to identify and deal with this challenge, see the articles “I Won My Battle With Postpartum Depression,” in the July 22, 2002, issue of Awake! and “Understanding Postpartum Depression,” in the June 8, 2003, issue of Awake! published by Jehovah’s Witnesses. These articles can be read online at www.watchtower.org.



TRY THIS: Wives, if your husband performs some child-care task in a different way than you do, resist the urge to criticize him or to redo the job. Commend him for what he does adequately, and you will build his confidence and encourage him to give you the support you need. Husbands, cut back on nonessential activities so that you will have as much time as possible to help your wife, especially during the first few months after the baby is born.

CHALLENGE 2: Your relationship as a couple weakens.

Exhausted by fragmented sleep and unexpected crises, many new parents struggle to remain close. Vivianne, a French mother of two infants, admits: “At first, I was so focused on my duty as a mother that I almost forgot my role as a wife.” On the other hand, a husband may fail to recognize that pregnancy has taken a toll on his wife—both physically and emotionally. A new baby can consume time and energy that both of you formerly used to remain emotionally and sexually intimate. How, then, can a couple ensure that their helpless, lovable baby does not become a wedge that drives them apart?
ˇ A key to success: Reaffirm your love for each other. Describing marriage, the Bible states: “A man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) Jehovah God intended that children eventually leave their parents. By contrast, God expects the one flesh bond between a husband and his wife to last a lifetime. (Matthew 19:3-9) How can appreciating that fact help a couple with a new baby to maintain proper priorities? Vivianne, quoted earlier, says: “I thought about the words at Genesis 2:24, and that verse helped me realize that I had become ‘one flesh’ with my husband—not with my child. I saw the need to strengthen our marriage.” Theresa, the mother of a two-year-old girl, says: “If I start to feel distant from my husband, I make immediate efforts to give him my full attention, even if only for a little while each day.” If you are a husband, what can you do to strengthen the marriage? Tell your wife that you love her. Back up your words with acts of tenderness. Make a conscious effort to allay any feelings of insecurity that your wife may have. Sarah, a 30-year-old mother, says: “A wife needs to know that she is still valued and loved, even though her body is not what it was before her pregnancy.” Alan, who lives in Germany and is the father of two boys, sees the need for providing emotional support. He says: “I have always tried to be a shoulder for my wife to cry on.”

Understandably, the arrival of a baby disrupts a couple’s sexual relationship. So a husband and wife need to discuss each other’s needs. The Bible states that changes in a couple’s sexual relationship should be made by “mutual consent.” (1 Corinthians 7:1-5) That requires communication. Depending on your upbringing or cultural background, you might be reluctant to talk about sexual matters with your spouse. But such conversations are vital as a couple adjust to the routines of parenthood. Be empathetic, patient, and honest. (1 Corinthians 10:24) You and your spouse will thus avoid misunderstandings and will deepen your love for each other.— 1 Peter 3:7, 8. A couple can also deepen the love they feel for each other by expressing appreciation. A wise husband will realize that much of the work performed by a new mother goes unseen. Vivianne says: “By the end of the day, I often feel as if I have accomplished nothing —even though I have been busy caring for the baby constantly!” Despite being busy, a discerning wife will be careful not to belittle her husband’s contribution to the family.
—Proverbs 17:17.

TRY THIS: Mothers, if possible, take a nap when your baby is sleeping. By thus “recharging your batteries,” you will have more energy for your marriage. Fathers, whenever possible, get up at night to feed or change the baby so that your wife can rest. Regularly reaffirm your love for your mate by leaving notes for her, sending her text messages, or talking to her on the telephone. As a couple, make time to have one on-one conversations. Talk about each other, not only about your child. Keep your friendship with your spouse strong, and you will be better able to handle the challenges of parenthood.

CHALLENGE 3: You disagree about parenting.
A couple could find that their backgrounds cause them to argue. A Japanese mother named Asami and her husband, Katsuro, faced this challenge. Asami says: “I felt that Katsuro was too easy on our daughter, while he felt that I was being too hard on her.” How can you avoid working against each other? ˇ A key to success: Communicate with your mate, and support each other. Wise King Solomon wrote: “By presumptuousness one only causes a struggle, but with those consulting together there is wisdom.” (Proverbs 13:10) How much do you know about your mate’s approach to raising children? If you wait until your baby is born before discussing specific child-training issues, you may find that you end up struggling with each other instead of dealing with the challenge successfully. For example, what answers to the following questions have you agreed on: “How can we teach our child good eating and sleeping habits? Should we always pick up the baby if it cries at bedtime? How should we react to potty-training setbacks?” Obviously, the decisions you make will be different from those of other couples. Ethan, the father of two, says: “You need to talk things over in order to be on the same wavelength. Then, together, you will be able to respond to your child’s needs.”

TRY THIS: Think about the parenting techniques that your own parents used when raising you. Decide which of their attitudes and actions you would like to imitate when raising your child. Also decide which, if any, attitudes and actions you want to avoid repeating. Discuss your conclusions with your mate.

A Child Can Change a Marriage for Good Just as a pair of inexperienced skaters need time and patience to find their balance on the ice, you need time to adjust to your new roles as parents. Eventually, though, you will gain confidence. Child rearing will test your commitment to your marriage and forever change your relationship with each other. However, it will also give you the opportunity to develop valuable qualities. If you apply the Bible’s wise advice, your experience will be like that of a father named Kenneth. He says: “Raising children has had a good effect on my wife and me. We are now less self-centered, and we have become more loving and understanding.” Those sorts of changes are certainly welcome in a marriage.
ASK YOURSELF . . .
ˇ During the last week, what have I done to show my spouse that I appreciate what he or she does for the family?
ˇ When did I last make time to have a heartfelt conversation with my spouse that did not revolve around child rearing?



From The Watchtower Magazine published by JW's



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Raising a Child With Down Syndrome: The Challenge and the Reward

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but your baby has Down syndrome.”
The doctor’s painful words change forever the lives of the parents.
“I felt as if I were having a nightmare, and I wanted to wake up,”
one father named Victor recalls.

BUT there is also an upside. Emily and Barbara, two mothers who reared children with Down syndrome, describe their experiences as an “emotional roller coaster of soaring successes and plummeting disappointments, daily frustrations and challenges, and exciting accomplishments and achievements.”—Count Us In—Growing Up With Down Syndrome. What is Down syndrome (DS)? Simply put, DS is a lifelong genetic condition that affects about 1 baby in every 730 in the United States. Children with DS have varying degrees of learning and language disability as well as impaired motor skills, ranging from mild to severe. They also mature at a slower pace emotionally, socially, and intellectually. To what extent does this condition affect a child’s learning ability? Jason, who has DS, explains in the book Count Us In—Growing Up With Down Syndrome, of which he is a Co author: “I don’t think it’s a handicap. It’s a disability for what you’re learning because you’re learning slowly. It’s not that bad.” Yet, each child with DS is different and has his own talents. In fact, some of them are capable of learning enough to become active members of society and to enjoy a fulfilling life. Nothing can be done to prevent this genetic disorder—either before or during pregnancy. DS is nobody’s fault. But it does come as a huge blow to the parents. What can they do to help their child and help themselves? Coming to Terms With Reality Coming to terms with DS is not easy. “The shock was incredible,” a mother named Lisa

_ We will use the abbreviation DS throughout the article. The name comes from John Langdon Down, an English physician who published the first accurate description of the syndrome in 1866. In 1959 the French geneticist Je´ roˆ me Lejeune discovered that DS babies are born with an extra chromosome in their cells, for a total of 47 rather than 46. Later, researchers found out that the extra chromosome was a copy of chromosome 21.

recalls. “After listening to the pediatrician’s explanations, my husband and I wept. Whether that was for [our daughter] Jasmine or for ourselves, I don’t know. Perhaps a little of both! Nevertheless, I longed to hold her in my arms and tell her that I would always love her, no matter what the future held.” “Many thoughts went through my mind,” Vıctor says, “dread, rejection. We thought that nothing would be the same, that others would not like to associate with us. To be honest, these were selfish ideas as a result of fear of the unknown.” Those feelings of grief and uncertainty usually last for some time, or they may resurface suddenly. “I often wept because of [our daughter] Susana’s condition,” says Elena. “But when she was about four, she told me, ‘Mummy don’t cry. It doesn’t matter.’ Obviously, she did not understand why I wept, but at that moment I resolved to stop feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on negative thoughts. Since then I have tried to concentrate my efforts on helping her to progress to the greatest extent possible.” Making Things Work for the Child What is the key to successful training? “Start by loving them! Everything else comes after that,” recommend experts from a DS association. “Individuals with Down syndrome are people first,” states Professor Sue Buckley. “[Their] development . . . is influenced by the quality of care, education, and social experience offered to them, just like all other people.”

Do People With Down Syndrome Enjoy Life?

What They Say. . .



“I like my job in the workshop of my training center because it makes me feel useful.”—Manuel, 39 years old




“What I like the most is eating my mother’s paella and preaching the Bible with my father.”—Samuel, 35 years old




“I like to go to school because I want to learn and my teachers love me very much.”—Sara, 14 years old

During the last three decades, learning techniques used to help children with DS have improved a great deal. Therapists advise parents to include these children in all family activities and to help them through play and early intervention programs to develop their skills.

Such programs—which should start soon after birth—include physiotherapy, speech therapy, and extra personal attention, along with emotional support for the child and the family. “Susana has always been one of us,” says Gonzalo, her father. “We have included her in all our family activities. We’ve treated and corrected her the same as we did her sister and brother, taking into account her limitations.

” Progress may be slow. Babies with DS may not say their first words until two or three years of age. Their frustration at not being able to communicate may make them cry or become bad tempered. Nevertheless, parents can teach them some “pre-language skills.” For instance, they might use a simple signing method, accompanied by gestures and visual aids. In this way, the child can convey important needs such as “drink,” “more,” “finished,” “food,” and “bed.” “As a family, we would teach Jasmine two or three signs a week. All the focus was on fun and repetition,” says Lisa.

Each year more children with DS attend a mainstream school and join in social activities with siblings and friends. True, learning is more difficult for them, but going to school with children of their own age seems to have helped some fend for themselves, interact with others, and progress intellectually.




“I really enjoy reading, listening to music, and being with friends.”—Susana, 33 years old




“Don’t worry, behave well, and play with everybody, and you’ll learn step-by step.”—Yolanda, 30 years old




“I want to grow up. I want a life.”—Jasmine, 7 years old

Since they develop more slowly, the gap between DS children and their peers becomes wider with age. Nevertheless, some experts still advise that they go to a regular school for secondary education, providing that the teachers and parents are in agreement and that additional learning support is available. “The greatest advantage of Yolanda’s going to a regular secondary school was her complete integration,” says her father, Francisco. “From the very beginning, she could play with other children, and they learned to treat her normally and included her in all their activities.”

Satisfaction Outweighs the Sacrifices Rearing a child with DS is not a bed of roses. It requires much time, effort, and dedication, as well as patience and realistic expectations. “There are many tasks involved in caring for Ana,” says Soledad, her mother. “You have to learn to become a patient mother, nurse, and physiotherapist, besides doing the regular chores at home.”

However, many families insist that having a DS child has brought them closer together. Siblings become less selfish and more empathetic, and they come to understand the disabled better. “Our patience has been richly rewarded, and in time we have seen the results,” say Antonio and Marı´a. “Marta—our oldest daughter—has always helped us care for Sara [with DS], and she shows a sincere interest in her. This instilled in Marta the desire to help other disabled children.”

Rosa, whose older sister has DS, explains: “Susana has contributed a great deal to my happiness and has given me so much love. She has helped me become more sympathetic toward other people who have disabilities.” Susana’s mother, Elena, adds: “She responds to kindness. When she receives love, she gives back double.”

Emily and Barbara—the two mothers quoted at the beginning of this article—discovered that “people with Down syndrome continue to grow and learn throughout their lifetime, and to benefit from new opportunities and experiences.” Yolanda—who herself has DS—gives this simple advice to parents of a child with Down syndrome: “Love him very much. Care for him as my parents have cared for me, and don’t forget to be patient.”

Strategies to Improve Communication
Here are some suggestions for interacting with people with Down syndrome:
˘ Place yourself face-to-face to ensure direct eye contact.
˘ Use simple language and short sentences.
˘ Support speech with facial expressions, gestures, and signs.
˘ Give them time to understand and answer.
˘ Listen carefully, and ask them to repeat instructions.



From The Watchtower Magazine published by JW's


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The Davao Museum a.k.a Museo Dabawenyo

It is about time that a 74-year old city that is also one of the country’s premier cities has its own honest-to-goodness museum. The Davao Museum, or officially Museo Dabawenyo, is just three years old (since 2008) and has yet to truly make its presence felt in the public’s consciousness.
Located along the Pinchon Street (popularly known as the Magallanes Avenue) just by the rotunda, the Museo Dabawenyo is housed in an old two-story building that has undergone various incarnations, such as the former hall of justice and a warehouse for non-functioning government equipment.

Up until Nanay Soling Duterte, a grand matriarch of the city and grandmother of current Davao City Mayor Sara Duterte, pushed for an official repository of the city’s rich history.

Welcome In

Upon entry into the museum, one is welcomed by life-sized artwork and a wall that explains theories on the origin of the word Davao. The hall on the first floor showcases the ten tribes indigenous to the Davao Region. Five of these tribes are Islamic, the other five are classified as non-Islamic or pagans. Then there is a feature of a local hero during the Spanish occupation, Datu Bago who led the uprising against the Spanish colonizer Oyanguren. Datu Bago’s heroism has inspired the creation of the Datu Bago Foundation that annually recognizes the sons and daughters of Davao City who have made remarkable contributions in various field and industries. These awardees are then bestowed the Datu Bago honor during the celebration of Araw ng Dabaw.

In another part of this hall, a wax figure of Pres. Manuel Quezon is seen signing a piece of paper which signifies the creation of Davao as a city in October 1936. In March of 1937, the first inauguration of the City was held.



In this same hall, one will see various photographs of how Davao City looked ages ago. Then, the San Pedro Cathedral was just a wooden structure and the City Hall was surrounded by coconut trees.

A photo mural of the first ever mansion built in Davao is also highlighted. Formerly known as the Dacudao Residence, the old mansion is now known as the Locsin Dance School along the Quirino Highway, and the family has maintained it well. One of its daughters, Agnes Locsin, a nationally renowned choreographer, is a Datu Bago Awardee as well.



Photographs and artifacts from war time are also exhibited in this hall. There is even a rusty bomb from the American airplanes on display.

There’s More Upstairs

The second floor of Museo Dabawenyo showcases artworks of the local artists. Paintings, sculptures, fashion designs, poems, music and anything that express the beautiful soul and creativity of the Davaoeno are exhibited to advantage.

There is a Filipiniana gown made of water lilies that was recognized on the fashion runways of Paris; music that celebrates womanhood, and sketches that remind you of dreams.

Mementoes from a time long gone are artfully placed around the hall.

A room on the second floor has also been assigned as a hall of peace. It is a library and meeting room that showcases peace efforts as manifested in photos of international relations and books tackling understanding of conflicts.

As one ends the tour of this Davao Museum, one gets a sense of enrichment that comes from the knowledge of what has brought us to the present time.

Museo Dabawenyo is open from Mondays to Saturdays, 8:30am to 5:30pm. Admission is free.



Written by Vida Valderde
Source: DavaoTraveler.com

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